Are you saying that your way is the only way?
No. I'm offering some specific suggestions about how to make a good egg sandwich. There are many good ways to do it. Plus, maybe some of my very specific tips need small tweaks in order to get the customer out of the deli quicker. I'm just trying to help us think differently on this stuff.
Why don't you just make your own egg sandwiches at home?
I do, sometimes. And I do them pretty well. But sometimes, I'm somewhere that isn't my home and I decide I want an egg sandwich. I'd like to have a good one.
Are you a douche?
Don't you give a crap about the very hard-working men and women at New York delis and bodegas?
YES. Of course I do. These people work their asses off every single day and deserve to be commended. I just think that at some point, certain delis started making egg sandwiches in a less delicious way and I want to revisit the time where they were more delicious.
Are you sure you're not an asshole or douche?
I don't think I am. You're allowed to. It's a free country.